Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
