The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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