I wish i was in the wii world.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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