Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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