I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Blood and glitter go together right?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
