If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
