Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
