I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
