dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
