Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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