the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
