therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
