He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
