i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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