Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
