Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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