You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
