yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize