Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
