Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
