Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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