Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
