I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
