So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
