I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
