Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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