I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
