My cat gives me a boner
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
