would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
