those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
