I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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