He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize