she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
