Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
