I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
