Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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