Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
