is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
