I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
