Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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