Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
