I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
