i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
