Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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