Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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