But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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