wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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