brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't deserve a penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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