Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
