there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
