During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
