so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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