How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
