so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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