I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
