Im at strip club and am horny
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize