no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
