i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
