Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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