There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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