i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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